Politics are boring me. I just can't find the energy to care lately and it's starting to worry me a little. I'm sure things will pick up when there's a singular Republican candidate to focus my annoyance on, but as of now I feel sort of indifferent about it all. I'm not entirely sure why.
In other news though, spring semester started today and my classes are amazing so far. Gender and Horror is gonna be as awesome as I had hoped and my Gender and Social Change professor is a ball of energy. Seriously, if I could bring her home in my pocket I would. It's nice having all my generals out of the way and focus my specifically on my major. If I can avoid getting as lost as I did today I'll be a happy Alana.
I've also had a few interesting experiences with Ryan. I've come to realize that I was never fully comfortable in our relationship. I know this probably seems odd, but I always felt like I wasn't interesting enough for him. This is completely shocking to anyone who has actually met Ryan, but I couldn't help but feel like I always had to have something to say that would make him more...animated I guess. I didn't even know it was something I felt until I didn't have to do it anymore. Now that I no longer waste my energy trying to think of things to talk about, I see what a silly thing it was to do. Slowly I've come to realize that I was always a little worried I wasn't enough. And I don't know if that's how other people feel in their relationships, but I don't think it's healthy.
I want someone I can fight with. Someone who's passionate and silly and interesting on their own. Someone I don't feel the need to "entertain." Even though it's hard to admit these things to myself, it's also freeing.
I know this post was super random, but that's a little bit about what's been happening with me.